He's seeing someone else...

[ClassicJac]

I'm after a little advice. My husband and I have been separated for 9 months. Up until two weeks ago he was still attempting to get me back (mainly by emotional blackmail and mind games). I have refused to even consider it from the night that I walked out with the kids (now 3 and 16 months old).

When he dropped the boys off on Saturday night he rushed in and dumped the boys and then stuff and rushed out again. As he was leaving my eldest infomed me that "Kate" (not here real name) was in the car with Daddy and that she is his new friend.

I find this interesting as as of two weeks ago he loved me, would do anything for me, etc. etc. But that's besides the point...

My question is this: do I have a right to ask what is going on and to ask if she is spending the night when the boys are there? My eldest has been asking questions about Daddy's new friend and I would like to be armed with an appropriate response rather than 'I don't know'. I also think I have the right to know if she is going to be spending a lot of time with the boys.

What does anyone else think???

[gypsyblu]

I would walk out to hte car and introduce yourself then if the relationship progresses then ask the questions

[AussieLass]

Personally, i would be wanting to know who she is, especially if she is spending time at your ex's house when your kids are there ..... what type of person is she? Is she suitable to be around the kids? Does your partner supervise her when she is there with the kids? etc etc etc

Since he obviously hasnt told you anything about her, yet the kids "know" of her ...... then shes obviosuly been there WITH the kids ...... can you trust her? or more to the point, him? If he hasnt even told you about her to start with .... kids come first before ANY relationship after you have split and introducing someone else into the mix, all parties need to agree to some ground rules

Perhaps speak to him rationally when she is not there wiht him and sort some things out with him?

JMO

[kidsrsuffering]

Your kids will tell you....my then 3 yr told me 'She' sleeps in daddy's bed...but then when it came to court "she is an aquaintence"...mmmmm didnt know you slept with aquaintences..

Ohhh and the family report writer said I have no business when the children are in his care....

[panda1]

unfortunatly as advised by my lawyer as i have been through this a number of times, you have NO right to know anything about your x partner new girlfriend if she so wishes, you are just expected to trust that your kids are looked after,(this is due to the privacy act) if they choose to go out to dinner and they decide to use a babysitter then there is nothing you can do, cause when the kids are in his care, he makes the decisions.