Need advice re really toddler and unborn child

[courtesy]

Hello, my de facto partner and I separated about 6 months ago, when our son was about 10 months old. We stayed living together for the most part because we couldn't afford separate places and stupidly got back together for one week to try and work on things as we found the Christmas period with child handovers etc very tough, during which time, even more stupidly, I got pregnant. I found out after we'd split again and he has now moved out as I have a part-time job, so we can afford two places. He allows me to stay in the flat I own (with a big mortgage) and rents somewhere with other people. So I am a single mum of a 14 month old and an unborn child. We're getting to the stage of talking about how the future will roll out and I need some advice, like, should we go to mediation?? We fight a LOT when we talk. He's not a bad guy, and he's okay with my son although very forgetful and useless at remembering feeding and sleeping schedules and needs. And he's not a loving person. And given my son is so young I do not want him to be away from me. I realise my kids will want a relationship with their father and I'm fine to support that but truth be told I'd be happier if I had full custody and also full legal rights (whatever it's called) so I had the flexibility to do what I want and live where I want in the future, while of course respecting their relationship with him. I realise that is also unlikely and I wouldn't push for the latter. But does anyone know if you are likely to get full custody when kids are that young? When they're older I'd be happy for them to have every second weekend with him but I firmly believe they need a base and particularly for the next few years I don't believe in them moving between two homes. I just feel odd given one isn't even born yet, I guess honestly it feels like it will be more my child than 'ours' although I know that's not really true. I'm going to register with centrelink so I get some assistance when I have to stop working when the second kidlet arrives. I guess I just want to know whether I should try and get custody now before they get older or whether I should just try and keep it out of the courts. And advice is very welcome, thank you so much.

[protectingmother]

Please keep it out of the courts. They will not give you full custody, not even if your ex was abusing your children. They will instead order you to give him shared custody, probably every weekend. The courts do not care if children are shared like property, they are treated like Yo-Yos it is really really shocking.

If your ex can be reasonable with you and understand your point of view about needing your son and new baby to have a stable home and safe environment etc, maybe you can work something out with him?

The courts wont be nice to you, or fair to your children.

good luck x

[courtesy]

Thank you for responding, I appreciate it. I'll take your advice. I welcome anyone else's thoughts!