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#12558
okay i apologize in advance for such a long question and for bits that may sound very confusing . i am 22 and have a 18month old male to a 22. back ground story of father and his role in my son's life : father has no job ( can not hold onto one ) , has no money , lives in a bungalow at his parents has occasionally smoked ice and has been charged with numerous driving and drink driving offences. when i was 5 months pregnant i left him because he had no job, i was paying for housing and everything for the baby while he was cheating on me and giving my money to the girl he was cheating on me with. after i left i did not here from him til about 2 months after having the baby. since then he has been in and out of MY life.. i say my life because i had not giving him complete acsess to my son as every time me and him would try and move forward.. next minute his gone and i dont hear from him for a few months so i didnt want my son to get attached to someone that just comes and goes. when my son was 1 year old he got the girl he was cheating on me with pregnant ( he had been back and forth from me to her for many years and sadly i put up with it and now a child is involved ) so she fell pregnant and miscarried. he claims he was happy about this because he did not want to have a child with her but he got the babies name tattooed on his arm. my child was just over a year old and he has never done anything to support me with supporting him and he runs off and gets a girl pregnant . i found in his messages a few months back a message to the above girl saying that her dead baby means more than my son. stuff that was very disturbing for some one that just today said he's going for split custody. anyway today he came down for a visit i had arranged as he hadn't seen his son since christmas when i brought bubs down to him. so he was out the front of my house and i saw that he had brought the above girl with him. i came outside with out my son and said calmly and nicely that " this is a visit for father and son and that she has no place being here " he was a smart *** and said she's just a friend and that she can be here as she gave him a lift i said " yea well its nice that she gave you a lift but she can wait up the street" he wasnt taking me seriously as he was trying to piss me off by bringing her so i said " look you came down to see your son whom apparently ive been preventing you of seeing, you can either get her to wait up the street while you see him or you can both leave now without seeing him" he said " ill see you in march" i replied " send me the papers ill see you in march" so the way i see it is he is using court to be spiteful and he doesn't care about seeing his son or he would have said to her " hey, can you please just wait up the road i wanna see my son " but instead he choose the hard way and never saw his son ??? he then called me straight away and called me a slut and some other crap in a 20 second rant . later on i sent him a message saying that he could have seen him if he had of asked her to wait up the road but instead he choose her over his son ( not in those words ) . he replied a long message and in that message these words " im running for split custody " this is a boy that has no money no house is immature and has spent no more than a total of 1 week around his son. my son does not know him anymore than he knows my local video store owner . i have done a bit of searching and the only thing i have found on split custody is this.. divorce parents usually have split custody and parents that have been with the children from birth to an older age. is this right.. does he have any chances at getting split custody? i do not have a job but i do have a house and have done a great job at raising my son . my son is very attached to me and is still breast fed. i hope you can offer some helpful insight and advice.. would be greatly appreciated . once again sorry for such a long story .
#16428
Highly unlikely seeing as you've offered visits but he's declined. Keep detailed notes, get yourself into a course of some sort or a part time job it will look good that you're not relying on the government for money to support your son.
Keep offering supervised visits (it will look good for you) make sure you email or text, write that the visit is just for the father and son not for others. He can try but he is likely only to get supervised visits to start and then it will work up. For children under the age of three it is about the child seeing the non primary care giver multiple times per week for short visits (2-3 hours) then working up from there. If he has no money and no home he is unlikely to even get over nights.