Sing and Grow is under playgroup australia, and community organizations fund the groups. Their website is http://www.playgroupaustralia.com.au/qld/index.cfm?objectid=D98EE6B3-0AF0-5E4B-6CEED71234457DAD and hopefully you can find one near you and see if you can join.
And the website for Hanen is http://www.hanen.org/Home.aspx . That's the original site for Hanen, it was developed in Canada, and speech therapists use it all over the world. Our new speech therapist the other day gave me a behaviour questionnaire, and I found myself ticking the often and always columns ALOT! And she said that was perfectly normal in children who are developmentally delayed, for whatever reason, they are frustrated cos they either can't understand what's going on or we can't understand them, which leads them to lash out and escalate. So if your girl isn't yet talking, it's definitely worth trying this program out, if one is available nearby, as it's for both parent and child. So you'll get some training too. I also went and taught myself (through the power of my iphone and an awesome app) sign language. More of a refresher as I did learn it when my sister was younger, and that side of the brain that does the sign language is where the speech is, and in delayed children sign language can help that side of the brain realize it can do more so they tend to speak after learning some signs. My son's first word was at 22 months and it sounded like bubble. All speech therapists use sign language too with the children as does the music therapist.
You've also probably been told about occupational therapy, they can help with things like toilet training and eating problems, and they focus on developing the fine and gross motor skills as well. They are also part of the child health unit and they are completely free, your gp should be able to refer you to this, but I waited 8 months just to get into the Hanen program, and now they've met him they said he should've come in sooner! Aaaarrrggghhh!!!!
You could also try one on one swimming lessons for her, some parents from the group I went to found some luck with it. Personally my son can't swim due to his grommets, but we just got our ear plugs today so we'll be heading back to the pool.
But they are some ideas of things you could try, see if they help her and you. You may not find an improvement for a while and trust me there will be times when she will make a huge improvement and then revert back to naughty again, we go through that all the time. So don't feel discouraged, I know it's hard but if you stay determined your girl will notice that you have changed and eventually she will adapt her behaviour.
And YES wherever I go my son draws attention to me, huge tantrums to the point where he's hurting himself. I try the planned ignoring and I'm seen as a bad parent, I try the quiet time, and then I'm seen as a parent who lets her kid rule her. Or I could lash out and yell at him harshly and tell him to stop it, and then I'm seen as a parent who can't control her own temper. Then there's my favorite mid mall adult tantrum, then I'm just seen as a crazy person entertaining her giggling son! So there's no winning, we're always going to be judged no matter what we do with our kids, but until they live a day in my shoes they don't get to judge me and their opinions mean squat to me. I'll do whatever works for me, and whatever keeps me sane, or at least appear to be sane in public! lol
I'm certain that there is something or someone out there that can give you the help you so desperately need. I hope my advice has pointed you in the right direction. And anytime you hit the wall and need to have another vent, I'm here, we all are, and you're not alone. xoxo