Children on the Autism Spectrum - they make us laugh, they make us cry - and we love 'em to pieces!
Being a single mum with an autistic child presents challenges normal support doesn't even touch on. Share your experiences, ideas - or even just vent if you need to, in here!
By freshfoodmumma
#11212
My little girl's father was a very violent man. Even as a child he was cruel to animals. He set his cat on fire when he was just 5 years old, and progressed from there. He has been in and out of jail, in and out of mental institutions, finally diagnosed with Autism and Schitzophrenia.

I was alone right through pregnancy and have been on my own since then, no input from her father at all which has suited me just fine, and he is legally not allowed near her which also suits me just fine.

However, when she got angry recently, I saw the same look in her eyes that I saw in her father's eyes right before he put me in hospital. So I'm wondering, how much do genes affect them?

She is diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, so getting all the help that he never got as a kid, and has a social worker who comes out to visit her at our house, and has a teacher aide at school while he never had any help at school (remembering he's 35, times are different now too, I don't blame his parents), and I hope to have given her the best possible start.

But I can't help but wonder about nature vs nurture.
By Miami5
#11215
Males are more likely to.be violent than females when autism is involved.but this is a generalization. I believe nurture wins out over nature. my daughters dad i feel.is either adhd or borderline personality disorder but he has never been diagnosed. I was terrified his weird controlling and bazaar mental behaviour would show in my daughter. 5 yrs on and its no where to be seen. he sees her 4 nights out of a fortnight and for a while there was cancelling half his visits .
Do all you can with behavioural therapists,specific schools,medication etc etc its all you can do. good luck
By Mum22
#11218
To use a really bad analogy, think of your daughter as a plant seed - all the gentic material is in there. BUT as we all know, a plant can thrive in the right environment, or fail to grow well, when it doesn't receive the right factors, light, nutrients, water etc.
So, your daughter has her fathers genetic material AND YOURS TOO, but she also has a totally diff environment as you have made sure that she has the best of care.

Although my son is not 'labelled' as such, I was very aware that he could have followed in his fathers personality issues, however, he has received awesome parenting (by me!!!) and he is a ray of sunshine, where he could have been such a problem child. Every now and then, I see his face (like when he is angry) and I can see his father/older sibling's expressions, but then I remember, this is MY child, and he may have a similar face shape, but totally diff personality.

Being aware of potential issues gives you the foresight to manage them should they arise, well done for being so aware of your daughters growth.
By freshfoodmumma
#11223
Thanks, I get all anxious sometimes about it. I know he would have probably been a different person if his parents knew to get him help as a child.