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By Rebecca Flisher
#16285
Hello, just wondering if there are any laws to help my situation or some advice would be great. I have an 8 year old son. I have not been with his father since he left at 3 months old (which was a good thing). He didn't have much to do with my son until he had another child (she is now 4) with someone else 4 years later. This relationship didn't last either and the father moved 8 hours away. Us two mums live in the same town and get along quite well. Dad did travel to our town mist fortnights staying at a holiday park for the weekend to see the two kids which was great but he has since moved closer and is now 4 hours away. Now every fortnight on a Friday afternoon, us two mums take turns in driving the two kids half way to stay with their father for the weekend and the other picks the kids up half way on a Sunday afternoon. My problem is that my son who goes to school is absolutely exhausted from 8 hours of traveling on the weekend and is tired and emotional all week until he gets to rest on the weekend that he stays home with me. Often he has separation anxiety as well because he has been away from me for a few days. Sometimes I feel sorry for him and let him stay home from school on the Monday or take him to school at recess so he has a few hours with me. Unfortunately the truancy officer is concerned with how much school he is missing. And I'm stressed that I'll get in trouble. Is there any laws that say the father needs to come here or closer? Or does anyone have any advice. Note: dad is not the easiest person to get along with, is hard to have a reasonable conversation with and is very focused on what is fair for him, not the kids.
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By Evd Evie
#16316
sweety unless there is and agreement in court STOP this all together if he wants to see his kids then he can come get them.......your son needs to go to school and have time out with his friends or you change it to once a month ....I know it's hard but at the end of the day it's your son's well being comes first not his father's ......and if father rings and starts on you just hang up lol
By Melt91
#16330
If there aren't any court orders saying you have to meet him half way for his weekend then you really can do what you want. Is it possible you can arrange a mediation the tell him what's going on and how much the travel is effecting your child.
I finally have final orders which says my 6yr old has to travel 6hrs Friday afternoon after school to her fathers house, (I drive 2hrs to meet him) they spend the weekend then she has to travel 6hrs back home Sunday afternoon. She is a wreck Sunday afternoon and the next 3 days are hell with her breaking down crying.
There is nothing I can do about it but wait till her tiny body gets use to it. I wish I had the guts to let her stay home Monday mornings as I think that would help her.
This all means she misses out on several friends birthdays and she can never play a weekend sport.

For your situation I suggest you speak to your sons teacher and make them aware of his situation. Also try speaking to maybe the school councillor making them aware of the situation (I promise he wouldn't be the only child) and see if you can work something out. Maybe some school work that you both can sit down and do together Monday mornings that he'd be missing out on.
I think being honest with the school will get you a long way. That way nothing can come back and bite you as they know about it.