Just come out of a relationship and found your head swimming with questions? Perhaps you've just fallen pregnant and can't see the Dad for dust - or you wish you couldn't! Post your new single mum questions in here and other mums will give you their ideas or experiences! (We may move your post to a more specific topic for you)
Forum rules: Remember, the answers you may get are mums answers and opinions or personal experiences - not legal advice, or even necessarily the right advice - use your own best judgement on what is right for your situation!
By MaryDonald
#16089
Hi Single Mums, I am a single mum with a 8-month old baby. My ex-partner took me to court and we had our first court hearing. Over the last few months I have received all possible opinions from lawyers, friends, colleagues about how to proceed etc. But I still don’t really know how the court system works, in a realistic sense (I have read the family law act thingy). I have a family report interview coming up and then an interm hearing thereafter. My ex is using our baby to get back at me for breaking up with him. At the first court hearing I was self-represented, he had a top lawyer, and I got smashed. I was even told that it’s very unusual that our 8-month old baby is still breastfed. I am wanting to chat with a single mother going through a similar experience. I would really appreciate some help. If you would like to meet in person that would be great as well. Much thanks. Mary
By Mum22
#16100
Firstly, I am SO sorry you find yourself in Court with such a young baby - I have been there myself. With the Breastfeeding thing - yes it is 'unusual' in the sense that in Australia the majority of mothers have weaned by 4-6 months - so state WHO figures and the benefits of breastfeeding etc. I breastfed for 2 1/2 YEARS. Don't be bullied, try not to be intimidated. Just cos he has a lawyer, doesn't mean he will get what he wants.
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By Mama22
#16161
Hi,

I hope this helps as someone that has been through it with a newborn.

Firstly, I would recommend you get a mediator. Current family law matters manditory to attempt mediation prior to issuing proceedings. This may be free of charge in many service providers for concessioners.

I am sorry to say that mothers bodies and the best interests of children never seemed to come first in my experience. I lost my breast milk after I was threatened and intimidated by my daughters father and his dad (both very influential lawyers) that it would be "inflammatory" to bring my breast fed child to court at 12 weeks old. When I did, they both intimidated me and shook their heads at me and my 12 week old daughter outside of the Court - his dad and principal of his firm even gave me the rude finger from the bar table as he represented himself in a co flick of interest matter (as my former lawyers and the fathe of the respondent and grandfather of my daughter) that he consented to after it couldn't proceed to trial as it was meant to.

No one cared - they had a reckless disregard for our lives and the laws.

Get out of the system and away from lawyers that don't seem to care about women's bodies and children at all. You'll be lucky if they even bother to read your affidavit.

I do t want to scare you, I just want you to know the truth. The Courts don't care, they will force decisions on you, and in real life - they're not the parents you would want deciding a brand of water - let alone decisions over your children. Run- don't walk. Get a mediator and save a lot of financial and emotional hardship on you and your child.

You're a mother now, and you need to protect yourself from the cruel and inhumane treatment that the legal fraternity routinely commits against women and children.
By Kels8269
#16356
Hi, I am going through the same thing. Ion hope Yu are ok and I'm interested to hear how you got on. Good luck :) have been single since I was one month pregnant. Raised our baby on my own (which on a note has been the best thing ever. He's the light of my life and the best thing to ever happen to me) My 5 month old baby boy is 100% in my care- I've had the father harrassing me since week one and while I've never stopped him from seeing his son, I've had to cut it back to two visits a week (he stays for around 20 minutes, his choice) . And I am always present. But it's gotten unbearable he talks to me like I'm dirt or just blatantly ignores me. He calls me names infront of our son. I just am lost what to do, he's told me we will now end up in court as he wants time without me. I understand my son will prob want his dad at some point, and I'll be the first supporting him, but right now he's a little baby and cries hysterically with his father. This is torment imagining my little baby away from his mum. Help, advice ?? Please