Feeling depressed & need another mums shoulder to cry on? Maybe you're feeling depressed about something (or everything!). Lighten your emotional load in here!
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By cuddlefish
#4220
I care for my son alone, limited support, exDP is out of state and family are busy. My DS 2 years old had his first double over-nighter with his dad a couple of days ago (they stay in a rented cabin nearby). It was amazingly successful. DS came home obviously happy and well fed and feeling secure. No problems there.

What has surprised me is my response to his return. For two whole nights I tasted some freedom, I felt what it's like to just get up and go to work without having to get a LO ready for childcare and drop him off. I was able to go to the local pub for dinner! I felt very refreshed and renewed.

However, as soon as exDP dropped DS off, I felt instantly tired and sad again. Everything feels so hard now, I feel so heavy, I can't stop crying (mostly hiding in the bedroom and crying while DS watched tv or plays and can't see me) It's as if a bit of time out has made coming back to real life even harder.

Is this normal? Does anyone else have experience of this? What do you do to cope with this feeling?
By Mum22
#4246
yes, normal.

you got to be just "you" for 2 days.
now you are "mum" again.

When my son returns from a contact visit, life IS harder, he is traumatised, stressed, relieved to be back, and life is bloody hard for a few days, then life sort of regulates again. see, normal.
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By epanlive
#7551
Emotions around access visits can range from Gut wrenching and dry reaching to the relief of having a few hours or days to yourself.
depending on your situation determines what is normal.

never feel guilty for enjoying some "you" time, this is what helps us refresh and get the strength to carry on.

Has the battle been long and you are tired of the fight?

why not seek courses or sessions to help you feel enlightened or energetic while child/ren are at access visit.

Can the child have an extended visit just to give you some more time to recover ( be sure not to let the other side know how you feel or they will use it against you), or can someone else look after the child for a few extra hours or days?

Sometimes the weight of being a MUM is overwhelming and it is normal to feel what you feel.