i have had to apply for the bond through human services, i have had to get advancements on my centrelink payments and borrow money of my older boys to get my rent in adv..
the one person i thought i could count on is letting me down, (my brother) he has been a great support throughout the past 10yrs, but i feel judged and let down by him. one min he says i can help you out with money, the next he says i can lend you 100 but i need it bk asap as i have bills to pay, well why offer it in the begining, and the offer was for a few hundred, he knew i didnt want to ask for anything, then he says ill take a day off work and we can move whilst the kids are at school, then i get told, oh sorry i cant take a day off, and now i have to rely on his inlaws to watch the boys so we can move me.. if i could lift the furniture myself i would do it myself..
i have never really had a man that i can call on, one that treats me the way i should be treated, one that i can trust fully, one that actually follows through with their word or actions.
so how the hell do we trust again, how do we move forward adn let someone in, weather it be family, friends or partners, do we always feel as if we are gunna be screwed or does it pass?
will we know when that true mr right walks in the door or will the wall of caution remain there?????
all i want is for the males in my life to think of ME, to follow through on their word.....
makes my roller coaster of emotion make another dip... kick me in the guts why dont you ....