Feeling depressed & need another mums shoulder to cry on? Maybe you're feeling depressed about something (or everything!). Lighten your emotional load in here!
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By Singlemum5
#15181
Hi I am a working mum of 5 children aged between 18 and 6 the youngest 3 are in a 50/50 contact arrangement with their father. I moved out of the family home with the children 3 years ago having been in a narcissistic (not diagnosed) relationship. At first I took full custody and was dragged through the court system with some pretty nasty accusations thrown at me and with the constant accusing watch over all my actions and decisions I chose to offer a 50/50 agreement. I have one child with anxiety one with depression, anxiety and anger issues that refuses to go to school, one with depression and slight learning disability and one with major behavioural issues being diagnosed with PTSD and gets suspended on a regular basis due to physical retaliation. These behaviours were all evident during the relationship and were one of the reasons I left they improved for a time but have intensified since the all the court stuff. The reason I'm posting here is I'm not coping. I recently had burnout mentioned to me and I have been exploring that and thought maybe if I put out there what I'm feeling I may not be as alone as I feel. I have suffered with depression throughout my life as a mother and I can't remember when I started to feel this but at some stage in the last 5 years I started to feel like I wanted to get out not just the relationship but leave the kids as well. This feeling intensified during the court stuff the feeling of wanting to just give up and give him the kids and that we would all be better off. Most recently the feeling has become overwhelming... I completely dread getting the kids when my week comes around and I just go through the motions while they are with me... don't get me wrong I absolutely love my kids and that is what makes this so hard... do I stay like this and just live with the torment every day and just hope my kids get through or do I leave my children with the hope of getting myself better.... I can see myself getting to a point of breakdown if I stay and I don't know if the kids will cope if I go.... do I go to weekend mum or do I parent from afar.... do I take 2 kids and leave 2 with him..... if anyone has experienced this or has some input I'm just so confused please don't judge me I don't know why I feel like this way and am already judging myself thank you
By Boudicca
#15196
Hi,

I really feel for you, it really is tough raising kids on your own and you work too. When the kids are with the dad, that is really a great time for you to recharge your batteries and take time out for you, exercise, catch up with friends etc.

I do not get any weekend breaks, my two young children (aged 6 and 1) are with my all the time as they have an absent father. It can be tough and I feel like I have little time to myself.

I have had to plan my days carefully so that it is not all about childrearing and housework etc. I am trying to make time to exercise, meditate and catch up with friends as this keeps my anxiety and depression away.

Have a look at your day, see where you can fit some me time in as you need to be emotionally strong for your kids. Perhaps some time away on a mini-holiday will help.

Going through the court system will not last forever.

Good luck.