[ktroo]

Hello, I'm 34 from the UK, living in Sydney. My partner of four years and I were trying for a baby for six months. The day after we conceived this baby (7weeks) he cheated on me, left me and said he didn't love me anymore and completely broke my heart. I have some friends here but would like to meet you if you are in the same position. I live with my big fluffy love of my life, Bear (dog). I work full time and am not a resident so am really screwed in more ways than one!

x x x

[Mum22]

Is the father of this baby an Aussie or a UK citizen?
If you are unmarried, then your child will have automatic UK citizen status, and be eligible for a Euro passport.
If all your family are in the UK, and you are not an Aussie resident, then I would seriously reccommend that you consider moving back to the UK so that your baby is born there ( support at home etc?). This then becomes then baby's permanent place of residency. You are free to travel to and from Australia, as UK citizens.
However, if your baby is born here, and you want to go 'home' to the UK, you will need permission from the dad to take baby out of the country, even if he is estranged. He will be able to prevent you from removing the child from this country.
So, work out what your priorities are from now, on, and whether you think you could have a workable relationship with the dad.
Personally, I think the family laws here atm as shite, but I do not know what the UK equivilant is atm. I'd be thinking a holiday back to old blighty is just the thing, to see if you could live there for acouple of years and estalish taht is baby's resient home, before making any further long term plans.
OR, you avhe baby ehre, and apply for permanent residency for your self o teh grounds that you avhe an aussie child ( esp if dad is an aussie) and get on with life here, with all teh dad issues that may or may not arise (if he buggered off with someone else, then he may want nothing to do with you UNTIL the Child support agency get involved, then he may or may not be a pain for you). He is either a shite or a coward, time will tell.
I wish you the very best of luck with your decisions, remember that hormones kick in and you will want life to be wonderful and you'll want this man to reappear and be the bestest daddy in the whole wide world if only he'd grow up a little etc etc, write down your thoughts and feelings - read yoru dairy often to remind yourself that it is up to YOU to do the best thing now.

Of course the other option, if you are not too far along, is to terminate / adopt, but that is a very very personal issue, and I will leave that up to you to debate.
I wish you all the best.

[Mum22]

ok, obviously that was meant to say read your diary...oops!

[ktroo]

Wow thanks for the reply and advice. Hadn't thought about the citizenship for the baby. I'm hoping to get residency through work but it looks unlikely. I worked really hard to get here and don't want to return to England. I will if I have to though I'm not keen on the idea at all. He still wants me to have an abortion, I'm nearly two months and it's not something I personally could live with doing. Obviously the alternative isn't easy either but I made this baby with love and am determined to keep it upbeat for the future.
I don't know what my rights are as in child payments from him, I heard that a friends sisters ex pays eighty bucks a month. I'd pay eighty bucks a month to have nothing to do with him. My best friend and her two kids are moving to sydney this time next year do that will help as we will live together. I don't want to give up my job, my dog and OZ

[ktroo]

Oh and he is Dutch, was on my de facto 457 visa but not anymore is applying for sponsorship which I hope he doesn't get. Can he really stop me taking the baby out of Oz?