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By movingon
#10878
Hi everyone

I just want to know how to deal with a father in law that was a gross intrusion our lives for for quite a few years and I tried many times to get my then husband to do somerhing about it but he never did. Well ultimately it contributed to the breakdown of our marriage, a fact that my ex doesn't seem to care about. Well now that we are are separated his intrusion into our affairs is even worse than ever.It would take a long email to explain everything that he is doing so I won't even try but he has become like the silent invisible third party in our current ongoing problems. I know he is the mastermind behind all correspondance "supposedly" coming from my ex because I know what my ex is capable of so I know it's not him but his father. if I correspond with ex at all it makes me sick to think that his father is reading it all and even worse he is responding on ex's behalf. Has anyone got any thoughts on how I can stop him and get him to stay out of our affairs>? I feel as long as he is in the picture we are never going to be able to solve our own problems
By Angels3
#10881
Read the book "The Dance Of Anger" by Harriet Lerner. Fabulous for changing the patterns of intimate relationships. Good luck. You can't change them you need to change your reaction. Cheers.
By Mum22
#10885
The only obvious thing that comes to mind is face-to-face communication with your ex, obviously withOUT his father there, but that may be very impractical for you.
I agree, that whatever the reason it is your reactrions and responses that will aid you to cope better with what sounds like a rather dysfunctional ex (can't act without or wont stand up to his dad). Best of luck to you.