Childrens divorce and break up issues, normal parenting issues including breast feeding, toddler woes, baby car seats, booster seats, school holiday and party ideas, , teenager problems, adult children flying the coop - or not! The sheer fun of it all is in here...
By mazzanne
#13039
Please post anonymously.

There's nothing like an evening visit to a free women's legal service to show you that you haven't got it that bad. Really, what's wrong with men these days? When are they going to grow up and take responsibility for their wives and children? What makes them turn so nasty and give up. We're raising a whole generation of children with part time fathers, if you're lucky, and women who are enduring having to drag their children out late at night to either get DVO's, assistance with court hearings, advice on consent orders etc (as I have done over the last 16 months). If you would've told me I would be doing this 13 years ago, I would've laughed. There's no time like the present, with ANZAC Day nearly upon us that the men these days are spineless, weak little boys. Not like the men who fought for our freedom. Who couldn't wait to get back to their wives and girlfriends and the wives who were proud to be with them. I don't hold any hope for my children in finding a soul partner and sticking around for life. What a sad world we live in.
By sndgroper
#13049
The men are screwing us and so are the government - they let the men screw us! If they cant be here emotionally/physically then they should have to pay a decent amount to support us and the children financially.. how is it fair that my ex lives on $1200 pw(after paying child support) and I have to constantly STRUGGLE to survive and raise a child on a total of $650 pw.. and the government says that is fair! My single mum friends seem to get crap all from their ex's too.

All my ex has done since we've been separated is hang out with his idiot mates, get stoned and do what HE wants to do.. with zero responsibility. He tried to get away with it while I was there. And then blames the separation on me. I wish I could leave the state, why do I have to be tied to someone who has done nothing but screw me over.
By TimsGirl
#13051
The 6 years I raised my daughter alone I think I would have celebrated to have $650 a week. Even with the DSP and carers allowance and FTB and the occasional child support, it didn't even come close. Not that I'm trying to make it a competition.

It disgusted me that my ex worked full time in a great job (for years cash in hand before finally going on the books), also claimed the dole, claimed he was single, shacked up with his whore mistress who was faking to get a disability pension also claiming she was single. They eventually had to tell centrelink when he got his divorce and married the mistress.

All the while not paying a single cent towards our daughter for years. Not even the $12.76 minimum they should have been taking from his dole.

they lived the high life - literally smoking pot day and night.

He also blames the separation on me - claims he "had" to leave me because I had abused him unforgivably by reporting him bashing me repeatedly to the police. Ironically, he didn't even leave me - I kicked him out for turning on our daughter who was only 5 at the time.

But that's now why I replied. I replied because there are a few good men left out there.

A few months ago I married my wonderful second husband and finally moved in together 2 months ago (lived apart for the first 3 months of our marriage because like you, I was trapped by court order from leaving the state. He has married me despite the fact I have multiple serious (expensive) health problems and that I have a child who is autistic and needs (expensive) therapy. And that my exhusband ran up close to $100K debts in my name - $80K he scammed out of my extended family (legal signed agreements which I'm not going to screw them by going bankrupt) and $20K on a high interest credit card.

My new husband isn't rich. Far from it - he was barely able to cover his mortgage before we moved in, but it's just enough that centrelink has cut off my pension altogether and my FTB is reduced. So all I get is a small amount of FTB, a small amount of child support and carers allowance ($115 a fortnight) which altogether doesn't even cover my daughter's and my medical expenses, let alone our living expenses.

But he knew that and married me anyway. And he loves my daughter like his own. He helps her with her homework, drives her to school when I'm too sick, comes with me to all the parent-teacher stuff at school and has never made her feel like she is anything other than his real daughter. He's not "dad" because unfortunately, she already has one of those, but he is the best stepdad anyone could ask for and I can't wait to have children of our own if my health lets us.

He even wants to adopt her (which would mean losing child support, but what's a few dollars anyway) but for now, we're waiting til she's a little older. She wants him to adopt her but she's not quite a teenager yet and we don't want to risk setting off my ex abusing me again (he stalked me for three years after we seperated) until my daughter's old enough to be sure the court will definitely listen to her wishes.

But yeah, there are definitely great guys out there. They are few and far between, but they do exist.

Also... the wonderful friend who introduced me to him was also a single mother who met a wonderful guy online, and they've been happily married for a few years now. He treats her like a princess and treats her son like an uncle would treat a child. Loves him and spoils him. Good guys do exist. they just take a while to find.
By sndgroper
#13053
Don't get me wrong, i'm happy that my child and I are not on the streets or having to share a house with people we don't know/get along with.. but this is thanks to the government, not the father of my child (who is living the high life right now). I have $300 left over after rent is paid, this is not enough to cover childcare, my study, food, bills, a car, activities for my son.. so things are going on my credit card. I don't think the government is helping the situation by letting the other parent get away with paying crap-all for their own kids. My ex is also planning to start his own business soon.. so i'll probably end up getting much less or minimal child support soon.. since money is easily hidden in small business. But i'm pretty sure the government make up the difference if the ex pays less, which they shouldn't do because some men are selfish pricks.

Anyway, TimsGirl - its great to hear you have found a good man for yourself, its sometimes hard to believe they actually exist with all the stories I hear lately.