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By movingon
#13056
Hi Everyone

I'm just wondering if any mums out there have any advice on how to handle the situation of phone contact with their own children when they are with the ex.
During the times that the children are not with me and staying with their father he does everything possible to interfere with phone contact when I try to ring the children. He has tried everything and continues to do so. I try not to get upset but each time this happens it still gets to me. I don't know how best to handle the situation, what do other mums do in these situations? Thanks
By Thayet
#13058
I've got a bit of the opposite problem. Sometimes I forget my phone or forget that he is going to call at a certain time. I have a young baby at home and things can get a bit hectic. I always apologise and explain but he then takes it out on me, claiming that I am breaking the telephone section of our orders. Yet he doesn't remember that he has done the same or similar things in the past, with forgetting things or making mistakes, but I never had a go at him for it. Such as failing to pick my daughter up from school twice because his alarm didn't go off. And like forgetting to pack certain things in her bag when she comes to my place (which I sometimes do too).

It is probably different in your case but that's my two cents worth :) maybe he is just a scatter-brain? Not defending him or anything! But that's the case in my situation, I'm a bit of a scatter-brain sometimes.

Having a set time when they aren't busy is good and if he continues to prevent your children from speaking with you then you could give your children their own mobile maybe. Not sure if you have any court orders in place? That's a good thing to put in the orders.

Good luck with your situation :)
By Mum22
#13059
I was going to list some of the things I have encountered over tthe years, but thought better of it in case 'others' read the list and get funny ideas!
I always promise my child that I will call when I am allowed to (as per Orders). I tell him that if he does NOT get to speak to me, it is NOT because I did not phone, because I will always phone. If the phone is not answered I will try again in about 15 mins. I try the house and then mobile. In teh past, if I could not get through for 2 days running I would call teh poloice for a welfare check as I preceived there was real risk to the child. However, I recognsied symptoms of dad and got aht it was a tactic to annoy me. If I got the answer machine I would leave a message in a very chirpy and happy voice! he wanted me to be p!ssed off, so i would be super happy, wish that they were having a lovely time and obviously an over sight that he 'forgot' I was going to call, for the umpteeth time... eventually he realised there was no 'game' to be played and all has been well for a while now. My child answers the phone mostly.
By movingon
#13060
Thank you for taking the time to respond everyone, Mum22 I would be very interested to hear some of the things you have encountered over the years, never mind what others might think you could pm me if you are willing to.
Thanks