Childrens divorce and break up issues, normal parenting issues including breast feeding, toddler woes, baby car seats, booster seats, school holiday and party ideas, , teenager problems, adult children flying the coop - or not! The sheer fun of it all is in here...
By gardenmum
#13140
DD father wants to borrow her birth certificate to open a bank account for her , linked to his own . He has rarely paid CS in her live . I have a bank account in her name that CS is supposed to put his payments in and another for me to save for her . I probably can't stop him borrowing her birth cert. as he could surely get a copy himself if wanted to .
If he has this cert. though would he be able to access the accounts she already has and remove her money ?
Would i appear nasty if i were to report an account in her name to CS considering he owes them so much and does not declare his income (cash work)?
If he really wanted to contribute to her financial well being he could pay C/S , the back payment of C/S or contribute direct to other costs. Rather than account jointly in his and her name that he could remove the money out of himself .
There is no current parenting plan in place as he hardly wanted contact with her most of her life and only shown interest in last 12minths . He is now trying to pursue 50/50 and threatening courts . Could there be another reason that he has requested her birth certificate ? Would it be seen as antagonistic if i told him , "no , go to the courthouse and pay for your own copy ?"
By Mum22
#13156
Sounds like a ruse to me/ he will need a copy of the birth cert to file an application in the family courts. He is perfectly capable of applying for a copy of the birth cert himself, it doesn't cost that much. IF you lend him the copy you have, are you going to get it back from him???

As a major form of ID you can simply state that you must keep this original copy and it is up to him to get his own copy. It is not your responsibility.

My child's father was daft enough to ask me for the birth Cert. (that I paid for) so I knew right there and then that he was going to file in the courts. Sure enough I was right. I did not give him my copy - he had to get his own, it cost about $70 for a priority copy I think.

Besides, if you already have a bank account for your child, give him the details and tell him he can do a direct deposit!
That will show you whether he is serious or not.
By gardenmum
#13158
thanks . i hope it doesn't make him to agro . But yes , he already had the bsb and acc. numbers of one of her bank accounts as that is where he is supposed to pay CS into . I might have to check the details of the other account (that he does not know about) to ensure that he is not allowed to access it or remove funds from it .
It did seem really cheeky considering he is so far behind in CS , if he back paid some of that or even started paying then she would have savings . High school is coming up (oh no) and more orthodontic costs .
He only offers (and has not yet paid ever) financial assistance that is "conditional" . e.g. "I will pay for new school uniforms if you come live with me" and just paid thousands of dollars for new bicycle and bedroom fit out at his house for her (yet CS has him at declaring 4k earnings a year :x )
I may have to temporarily "lose" the birth cert.
He also told her that i did not tell him she was born until a few weeks after she arrived and might want to check if the date her birth was registered disproves this if he wants ti use it in court . (although the photos of him holding baby in hospital, the baby record book , my journal as a new mum and witnesses might show that he has lied to her )
By Mum22
#13159
Suggestion:
"Birth certificate? Gee, it's filed away somewhere, gonna take me ages to find it, you know what, it's probably quicker for you to just get a new one..."
which is NOT lying since:
a)it probably IS files away somewhere and
b)if you don't look for it then it would take you ages to find it!
Can men really do nothing for themselves...?
By freshfoodmumma
#13162
I'm assuming the accounts you have currently opened up for your child have you as signatory? If that's the case (as it is with my daughter's account) unless his name is on there, he cannot withdraw money.