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#13633
Hi All,

I am in a bit of a confusion about what to do. . . hoping someone out there can help. . .

Quick background on my situation:

I am 35weeks pregnant with a baby that was planned and wanted by both me and the father. . .until I was 5 months pregnant, when he suddenly decided that 'his happiness was the the most important thing' to him, and he left us to go searching for it. . .I have no idea what happened or why, as one day he was super supportive and excited about being a dad and us being a family, and then all of a sudden in less than 48 hours, he completely shut me out and would hardly speak to me. . .

I left communication open in the hope that he was just having a freak out, but he basically shut the door on me.

I don't know where he is now as the last I heard from him was that he was going travelling!

We were in Europe (he is Belgian) and although I am British, I am an Aussie resident and it turns out that they only way I can afford to support this baby alone was to return to Aus, which I did just over a week ago, as I am not eligible for any support from the British Gov!

So I have come back here out of necessity in the hope that it is the best longterm plan. Leaving my close family in the UK (my parents and my sister who is also pregnant, due Feb) at this time and under these circumstances was the hardest and most depressing thing I have ever had to do and although I am so lucky to have a good network for friends here, I am so sad and depressed! (But still loving the baby - I will never ever regret that!)

So now I am slowly trying to get my head around Centrelink and how things work, which is all very new and confusing to me!

I have been told that I must chase the father for CS or I will not be eligible for as much from Centrelink, but I don't want to put his name on the birth registration or certificate as he has abandoned us and I have no idea if he ever has any intention of playing any role in his child's life in the future. Do I have to put him on the Birth rego and certificate? (in the UK it is impossible to do this unless the father physically signs the registration documents, otherwise the Mother could just name anyone!!!)

I asked him directly about how he sees the future and his role in the child's life the last time I saw him, and the best he could say was that if it was all too hard for me, then I could 'just give him the baby and he would take it to Mexico or something'!!! Quite a strange attitude. . .

And so I am quite confused about what I should do. I don't want to lie and pretend I don't now who the father is, but I also don't want to have him on any documents to do with my baby! Plus, from reading the posts on this site, it seems that the pittance he would be told to pay if he was eventually tracked down, would be such an insult that it doesn't even seem worth chasing! Also, he has only worked for cash for the best part of 10 years (with just an occasional 'official' job) so he has hardly a cent on file with the Belgian Tax office, even though I know for fact that he has a pretty huge stash of cash hidden away (way more than I am ever likely to have, especially now!!).

The other thing is that his family are as confused and hurt by his behaviour as I am (although of course they are still his family!) and are being supportive of me and the baby (not financially, but emotionally) and want to have an ongoing relationship with us, which is something I also want.

And I guess that there is a part of me that hopes that, in time, he and I can find some way to communicate again, although he has done so much damage and is taking no responsibility at all. . . I have no hopes of the relationship ever happening again as I could never trust him after all this!

Any advice would be great, if anyone else has been unfortunate enough to go through anything like this, I am just so unsure of my rights just now!

Many thanks to you all!