Childrens divorce and break up issues, normal parenting issues including breast feeding, toddler woes, baby car seats, booster seats, school holiday and party ideas, , teenager problems, adult children flying the coop - or not! The sheer fun of it all is in here...
By Puchilin
Sorry my situation is probably nothing compared to everyone else's.
I have posted here before about what led to my separation with my exdefacto short and simple
It was bullying and verbal abuse.
Now his two girls r under my care 100 percent apart from the occasional weekend every three to four weeks depending when he takes them to see his parents.
In any case the older one entered Kindy this year and I gave
Instructions that without my written consent a week prior no one could
Remove her from school. Now my ex has after 5 months managed or suddenly
Shown interest in attending all of her little events so today is the first mind you he says it to my child in front of me what he is doing I.e today is coming and watch her at the sports carnival where Kindy run around the oval once which is fine only that he does not give any further specifics and when I ask I get not a clear answer. From knowing my daughter she will get upset if he turns up and then leaves her.... Think I am losing my mind I can't even explain it properly here. I guess the point is after school care is under instructions not to hand her over without my written consent so h does not start doing things without telling me and I turn up at school none the wiser. With the school carnival I now feel the need to turn up as well even though work wise it is making it hard for the 5 min quick run but I know that once she sees me she will want to come home with me and I don't want to have that spectacle happening with him there. I can't handle being near him for more than one minute .....but I also can't forbid him from attending so it is. Lose lose situation
By Mum22
I know exactly what you're dealing with here.
Are there Court Orders in place that give him certain hours of contact? I know it doesn't afford much peace of mind, but if he is not supposed to be there, then he ought to stay away.
I used to fret so much in case my ex would turn up at school events. I worried that my son would not even be there when I turned up to collect. Mostly ex's do these things just to upset us, and of course when they do show up the kids get upset that they leave just as suddenly as they arrived. OF course it is not fair.
You might well want to take some time off work to attend, just to 'be there' -keep your distance from him, and if possible, be standing with someone so he won't approach you. IF he shows. Of course he may not, it could be an empty threat just to put you on alert for no good reason.
IF he does turn up, and you are there, stay firm, be 'neutral' and show no emotion to him that you are rattled.
I hope she does well in her races.