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By ssm123
#14258
Hi all,

I just need some advice on my current situation.

I am currently 20 weeks pregnant, and the father of my baby has made it pretty clear that he isn't interested in the situation. We were only seeing each other for a few months prior to falling pregnant. He makes no effort to contact me, only on the couple of occasions that I have sent him a message to inform him of an ultrasound does he reply. In short, he doesn't really care.

Anyway he refuses to tell his parents about the baby. I have never met them, but am wondering whether I should tell them about it.
I know how I can get in contact with them, so that part is easy.

Does anyone have any experience in this? Did it go well, Did it go bad? How long did you wait before telling them? Any legal repercussions?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks a bunch!
By frockedup
#14259
Do you want them to be in the babies life? Do you think they would try and go to court for grandparents rights? Maybe the dad is waiting till the baby is born for dna before owning up? Maybe the dad will see the baby after its born and it will melt his little cold heart and then he will tell his parents? So many variables... if you want to have a little fun put a photo of the baby and birth announcement in their local paper :)
By Mum22
#14262
Men can be so ambivalent at this stage of a pregnancy - right when a woman's hormones are going into nesting overdrive!

You are probably feeling clucky and wanting to be surrounded by family - him, or his parents by proxy.
Obviously, what you are feeling is very, and perfectly normal.

BUT you have found yourself on this forum, and we are mostly mothers who have been hurt, damaged, torn apart, worn down yet survived the wrath of the non-committed partner/dad.

AS noble as your desire is, I recommend that you leave the parents in their ignorance, and get on with the business of preparing for your impending motherhood.

AS said, 'dad' may suddenly get interested one baby is born, or may cause trouble with demands of DNA tests, court for contact etc, be prepared for that also. Read up on what you need to be doing should he front up as soon as the baby is born, (my ex caused trouble within the fist week after our child was born, but then he is in a league of his own).

I wish you well in your pregnancy journey - do you have your own family near by? a good support network? If not, look around for antenatal classes, I met some lovely people through mine who went on to become good friends, even after our babies were born. New mothers form all walks of life can provide great support for each other, breastfeeding association meetings, baby yoga classes, playgroups, even local libraries give free book reading sessions for kids under school age.