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By movingon
#14382
Hi Everyone

I was just wondering how others handle phone contact between the children and their father when they are with you. We have orders stating phone contact "at all reasonable times", which is loosely worded and open to interpretation. He continues to ring every night when they are in my care whether we're at home or out, he will ring the home ph and my mobile trying to get hold of the children, just "to say goodnight" as he puts it.. The children are getting older and just dont want to talk every night and I think alternate nights are reasonable and so did one of the counsellors we had. My lawyer has told me I dont have to pick up the phone every night because our order dont specify that I have to, but I am worried I might be seen as not facilitating phone contact if dont, what do others do Thanks
By Mum22
#14384
See, now this is the problem with court orders - often they are 'loose' to promote communication between parents, but so loose that they can be exploited and cause frustration.

I would send written communication to him stating that as the kids are older now, alternate nights is 'appropriate' contact and that you will facilitate that from now on. Should he object, he will have to have a good reason for doing so.

Our arrangements for my older son was twice weekly, and even then my son got fed up of the frequency!!

Are the kids able to tell their dad that alternate nights suit them better?

It is all well and good for the solicitor to say you do not have to pick up the phone, but goodness me, the sense of frustration and hassle would mount over time for you and dad.

I hope it gets resolved for your sake, so you can get on with life.
By movingon
#14388
Thanks Mum22

Thats a great response thankyou for that. The kids have told him before that they dont want to talk every night and told him to ring every 2nd night I think he uses it to torment me and as a means of control and it drives me nuts so I will email him and tell him what's going to happen.. Thanks again
By Mum22
#14389
After you've done that - stand your ground - only answer the phone on alternate nights if he rings - don't give in - he'll get the message in time.
IF he were to kick up a stink about it - and claim for example : I called and called and called every single day and she won't answer" well, then MOST people would view that as UNreasonable...see - dig his own grave
("the wheels on the Karma bus go round and round"...Sing along ladies....)
Cheers!