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He is taking you for everything you've got, he is trying to break you. I wouldn't allow the lawyers letters get the better of you, unless it is a Court Date. The lawyer is using your unknown knowledge of the court proceedings.
You need to concentrate on the children first without having to deal with the property matters.
Can I ask you how your children are coping, because you are being totally harassed the children will pick up on that so your ex is doing everything to make you look as though you aren't a good parent.
I have been through it for many years and his lying got the better of him. As long as your children are dressed, fed and going to school the lawyer can't threaten you with work etc.
You should ask for a children's lawyer, at the end of the day the Judge listens to his recommendations. Family Court take into account 'the best interest of the children' before anything else, such as how many hours your working.
One more thing has the IVO say that you and your ex can see each other only to discuss or exchange the children. Your ex should be having nothing to with you about anything else, do not tell him anything about yourself as he will use it against you. Also write on a pad all conversations and phone calls you have. He is harassing you and your children.
I can only stress to you that the children need you now, don't worry about the property's. You need to see a councillor and have everything recorded. You owe him nothing, your priority is to look after your children and yourself. Keep strong and don't tell him anything about your situation. Good luck, you will be fine in the end, just stay true to yourself and your kids, give him nothing.
This is someone that shows no interest in our child and everything he put forward to be amended was about getting at me as he knows that he's got me hook line and sinker with his mind games.
If your children are of a mature age or regardless of age it may be an idea to send them to a psychologist that may help in your favour also.
My biggest piece of advice to you is not to bring up in affidavits or negations $$MONEY$$!
keep it all about the best interests of your children.
Men are so selfish that it's mostly about the attack on the female and not the kids.
Also personally I'd be selling both houses he want to stay in the one he and his new stab are in let him honey as he will more than likely have to pay you out if he intended to keep it. Also if she is there and works doesn't that factor come into it with CSA?
Also keep absolutely everything from him texts, times,dates, call recordings,emails I mean everything!
They tend to get lost in there lies and karma comes to the rescue!
Good luck chick xx it gets worse before it gets better xx