There is hope...
by Leemanth » Sat May 07, 2011 4:54 pm
I have raised three children (two different ex-hubbies) as a single parent. I found it so hard in the beginning. When my two daughters were still toddlers my first marriage broke up. My husband threatened me with a gun, so I returned to my home state where I knew he would not come. I struggled on a single parent's benefit for ages, studying word processing and eventually getting a low-paid job in a word processing bureau. The cost of childcare was horrendous. I had problems paying my rent. The worst part was judgementalism on the part of others. If my flat was not spotlessly clean or if my daughters were seen playing outside without shoes on I came in for criticism from neighbours and others.
I applied to go to university at the end of that first year as a mature age student and was accepted into a regional uni in Queensland. So I packed up and started again. Trying to juggle classes, pay expenses and so on from a single parent's benefit was unbelievably hard. To make matters worse, my family disapproved. They told me I should just get a factory job somewhere, take care of my kids and forget about "pipe dreams". I argued that I wasn't doing it out of selfishness but to better the lives of my girls, too, and to set an example for them. My family wouldn't agree. It got so bad I cut off contact with them for years.
Anyway, I muddled through and after three years got my dream job. It was at entry level, but still paid twice the supporting parent's benefit. Over the years I rose through the ranks. My son was born 8 years after my second daughter. My second marriage lasted only a short time (it had been long-distance for years and we couldn't live together when the time came). So now I had three, but at least I was working. The judgementalism continued, always, from others.
I am now a senior employee with my company and earn more than 6 figures a year. My children are all young adults and doing very well for themselves. I did not have a bit of trouble with them when they were teens. They are fantastic and I don't just love them, I really like them, too.
These days friends are envious of my relationship with them and praise me for doing a great job of raising them. My family has forgotten its disapproval of my decision to study and is proud of what I do in my work.
It really does get better. You need a very tough hide, and dreams, and stubbornness, but it does work out...
I applied to go to university at the end of that first year as a mature age student and was accepted into a regional uni in Queensland. So I packed up and started again. Trying to juggle classes, pay expenses and so on from a single parent's benefit was unbelievably hard. To make matters worse, my family disapproved. They told me I should just get a factory job somewhere, take care of my kids and forget about "pipe dreams". I argued that I wasn't doing it out of selfishness but to better the lives of my girls, too, and to set an example for them. My family wouldn't agree. It got so bad I cut off contact with them for years.
Anyway, I muddled through and after three years got my dream job. It was at entry level, but still paid twice the supporting parent's benefit. Over the years I rose through the ranks. My son was born 8 years after my second daughter. My second marriage lasted only a short time (it had been long-distance for years and we couldn't live together when the time came). So now I had three, but at least I was working. The judgementalism continued, always, from others.
I am now a senior employee with my company and earn more than 6 figures a year. My children are all young adults and doing very well for themselves. I did not have a bit of trouble with them when they were teens. They are fantastic and I don't just love them, I really like them, too.
These days friends are envious of my relationship with them and praise me for doing a great job of raising them. My family has forgotten its disapproval of my decision to study and is proud of what I do in my work.
It really does get better. You need a very tough hide, and dreams, and stubbornness, but it does work out...
- Leemanth
- Posts: 43
- Joined: Sat May 07, 2011 4:37 pm
